Happy Day-Before-Birthday to Me!!

Today is the day before I turn 38.  Wow.  38!  So I'm taking myself to Cripple Creek to gamble a bit.  I have found that it is only a 30 minute drive from Camp A where I take Ryan every Sunday.  So it has been fun.  This is the first birthday Jeff won't be celebrating with me.  We have been so lucky but it still really bums me out.  I also have decided that only I will be visiting Jeff in October.  Plane tickets will cost too much for all of us to go.  I'd rather put the money towards the vacation in December. 
   Jeff sent us a package today! He put in Thule t shirts which are cool.  He also gave Becca and I stuffed polar bears.  They are so cute I love it.  I miss him so much.  I really hate that time seems to be going by so slowly.  It just seems to be dragging.  How can only 3 months have passed?? It seems like at least 6 months should have gone by.  But... one day at a time right? 
  Wish me luck.  I hope to win a huge jackpot... Ha Ha.  More realistically I hope to play craps for a few hours and have a great time.  Maybe win a few small slot jackpots... dream big right?? 
        

A much better day and bingo!

Today I had an apt. at Fort Carson about the surgery... it seems that my blood pressure is too high for the anesthesia to work on me.  So I am now on some meds for it.  He also said that I'm a better fit for the standard gastric bypass instead of the vertical sleeve. :(  That REALLY  bums me out.  I had done all the research on it and I just.. am scared.. He thinks I may get in by mid-August.  That is fine, however I will have to do some re scheduling since the kids will be in school and so will I.  But the better news is..

  I went to bingo today and WON!   Not only 1 game, but 3.  Yep I won 3 times!  It was crazy awesome!  I won $400 today.  I even won 2 games in a row on the very same number..B2.. I bought lottery tickets tonight too, I figured if I was going to win, today would be a good day!

Bad Day

It is the end of June and what have I accomplished this fine summer?  Ummm.. not much I'm afraid!  I am still trying to adjust to my life without my husband for a year.  Three kids to run around and to take care of.  I don't know that I'm doing so hot at this.  I am still depressed about the single mom thing and worrying about taking care of it all.  I know other people do this, so why can't I get it together?  I seem to be doing a bad job of all of it.  I can only hope tomorrow is another day!

My Apologies

I do hereby formally apologize to anyone I may have hurt, offended, upset, or made angry in any way with my last entry.  It certainly wasn't my intention.  It was venting; my daughter is upset, she is upset daily..and I don't think that I should have to censor my own blog... but apparently I have upset some people.  First I didn't know that my previous post went to facebook.. but I have checked my settings and that won't happen again without my ok.  (this is on facebook to reach those I have upset).  Please accept my apology.  

Yes, it is just one side...but how can I have another when I don't know any other sides?  I have tried to comfort her as best I can, yet it isn't working.  It has come to my attention that perhaps maybe even probably, the nasty comments I spoke of previously were NOT made by the girls in question.  If she/they didn't make them,..then yes, I do owe you an apology and I'm sorry.  But you can see why we thought they were can't you?  My daughter is unhappy.  She is sad and grieving for her old friends and I just want her to be happy.  Is this wrong?  I am sure that the other girls families want the same for them and frankly so do I.  I wish no one ill.  I never ever said that anyway.  I miss these girls and loved them.  I think I even said so.  But now it has come to my attention they are upset with me so ... now what?  What can I do ? Sigh. 

Live from the Apple Store line

So here I sit, I'm in line for the new iphone 4, along with about 50 to 60 people so far.  It has been....fun!  I never thought that I would have fun doing something crazy like this! So far I have gotten a free huge umbrella from Apple along with free drinks.  My fellow line neighbors have set up big TV's and X-box's.  We are watching movie and some are playing games...We even made smores with a tiny little stove.  This like a big street party!  It is so much fun!  I just hope that I get a phone!  I will be so mad if I don't...  Ok about to watch another movie!

Iphone 4 !!!

I just can't wait to get the new iphone 4!!  I have the 3G, and REALLY want this new phone.  Pre-sales are over and of course it is dicey lining up hoping to get one Thursday.  I managed to get a sort of pre order at Best Buy.  They won't promise that it will be there by Thursday, but I am hoping that it will be there..it is my something to look forward to this week.  That is my new thing, I have little things to look forward to.  And I am really looking forward to getting this new toy.  So I am keeping my fingers crossed.
I am hoping to visit Jeff in October.  I have  to travel space-a of course, and there is a chance that I won't have a seat on the plane.  I miss him so much.  I still am not sleeping well at night.  I just can't believe that he will be away for an entire year.  It is such a long time.  I just miss him, I hate to be so wimpy but  I really love and miss my best friend.  I think maybe  the fact that it was just father's day is part of it.  The first of many holidays he will miss.
But... I got this.   I do have a grip.. I just miss him.  But every day I grow stronger and more capable and am already surprising myself.

Summer..

Oh I how I wish summer could stay forever!  I just love this time of year.  I love to feel the sun on me, I hate to be cold.  I would be at home on some tropical island, kicked back on the beach with a cold, fruity beverage in my hand.  I love the beach and wish I lived near one again. I love to read and love to just sit in the sun with a good book.  I can pretty much drown out the world with a good book!

So my youngest son is going to summer camp tomorrow and I will really miss him!  My oldest will already be there as he will  be working there for the summer.  I have to take him back up every Sunday.  He comes home every Saturday, so far he has gotten a ride home on Saturdays which I am grateful for!  It is a 3 hour round trip to take him to Camp Alexander!

So for the week it will be just my daughter and myself.  She went camping with a friend and I hope that she had fun.  She deserves it.  She has had a really rough couple of months.  She just found out that someone she THOUGHT was supposed to be her best friend just deleted her from a social media site. She was of course devastated. She has been friends with this girl for so long and had a falling out with another girl and it seems that both other girls decided not to be even human beings anymore.  What I mean is they threw a friendship away ... for a silly little spat that my daughter only had with 1 of them.  The other wasn't even involved, she just...chose the other girl even though she hadn't been her friend as long.  So now what?  How do I help my daughter through this?  She is so upset and has been trying hard not to let me see it.  I feel so twisted inside knowing there is nothing I can do to help.