Wednesday, September 29, 2010


A crappy day all around.  I am soooo sick of driving and being my car.  I feel like that is all I ever do.  Drive all over this city.  I know that I'm grumpy today and I shouldn't be, but I just don't feel like myself.  I just wish I could get over this feeling of... just blah.  I think that if I got sleep that I'd feel better.  If I got some homework done then maybe I'd feel better too.  I am going to work on getting OUT of this mood.  So I will make some dinner for us and then watch Survivor and maybe do some exercise and try to read and GO. TO. BED. ON TIME.

So.  Sigh... that is all!

I'm Back!..Again

You'd think I was just so super busy wouldn't you?  But no.. and yes.  Let's see.  I'm still recovering slowly from surgery.  I'm tired much of the time.  I am now 2 WEEKS behind in my school work.  That's just never happened before.  And you know what???  I. DON'T. CARE.  Nope.  I should, however, but... I just don't know what it is, I'm burned out maybe.  I feel burned out on this deployment.  I'm so so damn sick of this.  It sucks doing it all  alone.  My mood is .. not great much of the time either.  I feel... grumpy.  And anxious.  ALL. THE . TIME.  I know that I am not doing the very best job at being a mom right now.  My kids are not getting to school enough.  Someone is always sleeping in and I have to take them to school late or they get sick and miss a few days of school, or Becca has to be picked up early every Wed. for therapy on her arm.  So.. yeah.  Mother of the year I am....

Also.. I am not having a great time figuring out what my new tummy likes or how much it can hold.  I don't get that 'full' feeling until 2 hours AFTER I eat.  And then.. well it is too late.  I have to vomit it up.  So it seems I vomit at least 3 to 4 times a week.  I eat something that used to agree with me that doesn't now or just a bit too much and it has no room to go but up.  Add to it that I'm thirsty all the time and can't drink but slowly.  I have figured out that sucking on ice is best, it helps with the thirst, but allows me to 'drink' slowly.  In good news.. I lost 50+ pounds since April and 35 since the surgery last month.  And Jeff is hopefully coming home for a visit in 9 days!!! I so hope that happens!  I miss him so much!!!