Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Well. There is 10 days until Jeff comes home for 3 weeks for his mid tour leave. I'm so excited I don't know what to do with myself. I really don't! So why does each day drag so much? I'm back to feeling blah at myself. I'm so tired and just feel so blah. But talking to my husband... just makes me smile. I love him. But you all knew that didn't you!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Ipads and other news

So I have returned to blog land. So much to say and yet not much that will interest anyone... Jeff came home for a week and it was the best week I can remember in such a long time. It was so great. But then.. he had to go and now I'm back in insomnia land. I'm about a month behind, yes I said a month behind in school. Why? Oh because of my stupid sleep issues mainly. I am awake all night and then sleep until noon during the day and get nothing done before it is kids pickup time and then there is the whole dinner and evening rush around to actives. Sigh.. I sure hope I can pass and pull this out. While Jeff was here we got dressed up and went to a dining out. It was nice to see him in his mess dress. I happen to think he looks fantastic!

So I'm testing out my new toy, I got an ipad. I love it!!! It is so much fun and already I have found cool stuff to do with it, such as typing this blog on it.. fun for me anyway.
Well I'm kind of just testing this out... good-night!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Location:Woodpark Dr,Colorado Springs,United States

Wednesday, September 29, 2010


A crappy day all around.  I am soooo sick of driving and being my car.  I feel like that is all I ever do.  Drive all over this city.  I know that I'm grumpy today and I shouldn't be, but I just don't feel like myself.  I just wish I could get over this feeling of... just blah.  I think that if I got sleep that I'd feel better.  If I got some homework done then maybe I'd feel better too.  I am going to work on getting OUT of this mood.  So I will make some dinner for us and then watch Survivor and maybe do some exercise and try to read and GO. TO. BED. ON TIME.

So.  Sigh... that is all!

I'm Back!..Again

You'd think I was just so super busy wouldn't you?  But no.. and yes.  Let's see.  I'm still recovering slowly from surgery.  I'm tired much of the time.  I am now 2 WEEKS behind in my school work.  That's just never happened before.  And you know what???  I. DON'T. CARE.  Nope.  I should, however, but... I just don't know what it is, I'm burned out maybe.  I feel burned out on this deployment.  I'm so so damn sick of this.  It sucks doing it all  alone.  My mood is .. not great much of the time either.  I feel... grumpy.  And anxious.  ALL. THE . TIME.  I know that I am not doing the very best job at being a mom right now.  My kids are not getting to school enough.  Someone is always sleeping in and I have to take them to school late or they get sick and miss a few days of school, or Becca has to be picked up early every Wed. for therapy on her arm.  So.. yeah.  Mother of the year I am....

Also.. I am not having a great time figuring out what my new tummy likes or how much it can hold.  I don't get that 'full' feeling until 2 hours AFTER I eat.  And then.. well it is too late.  I have to vomit it up.  So it seems I vomit at least 3 to 4 times a week.  I eat something that used to agree with me that doesn't now or just a bit too much and it has no room to go but up.  Add to it that I'm thirsty all the time and can't drink but slowly.  I have figured out that sucking on ice is best, it helps with the thirst, but allows me to 'drink' slowly.  In good news.. I lost 50+ pounds since April and 35 since the surgery last month.  And Jeff is hopefully coming home for a visit in 9 days!!! I so hope that happens!  I miss him so much!!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Recovery updates

I'm 3 weeks post op today.  I should be driving and pain free and even exercising.  But I am doing none of those things.  Why?  Because I'm SO SICK!!  I got what I thought was the cold going around, but after spending the night in the ER I actually have severe Bronchitis.  What fun!  NOT.  It sucks.  I feel worse than dirt.  My chest is rattling and I have a cough that would scare small children.  I was so dehydrated that they poured fluids into me.  Not a fun night.  So I'm hopefully on the road to recovery once again but slowly again.
I am also tired of being exhausted.  I'm just wiped out if I do much.  I know that I can expect this to remain for 3 months or so, but...I want my energy back!  When my last incision closes up finally I can swim and take baths again.  I have big plans for a water aerobics class.  But I have to get well first!  I know people are sick of helping me.  But...Jeff is gone and I still need help!  What can I do?  It is frustrating to me as well.  If only Jeff were here.  I am having such a hard time with this.  I will say that I have found that I have  friends who are just gifts from heaven..They come over twice a day to help me change the gauze in my incision, drive me to the doctor, and even take me to the ER and stay with me until 3 in the morning.  Thank God for them! 

Monday, August 9, 2010


Well I did it!  I had gastric bypass surgery last Tuesday August 3.  So far I have lost 10 pounds.  10 in 6 days!  I am still having lots of pain, I'm soooo tired, but am taking it easy and am healing slowly.  We shall see.  I'm taking it easy and not doing to bad.  I still would have really liked to have my husband there through this.  I am so thankful for my friends stepping up to help me.  I couldn't have done this without them.  Sheila and Michelle I love you.  You are so amazing to have been there for me.
This is so scary.  But so... maybe this is good. 

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Surgery and lethergy

So today and if I'm honest for the past few weeks I have felt...BLAH.  Yep.  Blah..don't feel like doing much, just hanging at home and watching some cool shows on TV.  Although I do look forward to my weekly trip to Cripple Creek that will be over soon when I no longer have to take Ryan back to camp.  I suppose I could drive up just to gamble but...nah.. I probably won't.  Sleep is still a major issue with me.  I am still sleeping from the wee hours of the morning until early afternoon.  3 or 4 am until noon.  It sucks.  If I get up any earlier then I'm so tired that I can't even drive or move unless I get a nap in the afternoon.  A horrible cycle.  Nothing seems to work.  The best thing is Melatonin but it takes a while to kick in and then makes me groggy the next day.  I'm thinking of trying it at 8pm and then we shall see if it works by midnight.  I know this is where the lethargy is coming from.  I feel like my whole day is wasted and I don't really get going until like 3 or 4pm..  Of course my kids are teens and are just like me.  They sleep the same hours as I do.  I need to get things done and I of course have been putting them off.  I need to register my car, need to drive Jeff's truck, need to get myself a loan for next semester and clean my house.  This house is only surface clean.  I do the basics.  But the rest?  Nope haven't felt like it.  I keep up on dishes, vacuuming, cleaning the kitchen and baths, laundry when I have to but as for really scrubbing and dusting?  Nope I really haven't done it.  I WANT to, I just don't want to know what I mean??  I haven't made the boys clean their rooms and the basement.  I don't feel like the argument really.  But yes it really does bother me.  Being this...and I know it looks like lazy, but it doesn't feel like lazy it feels like ..tired.  Being this worn out just wears me out.  I have no excitement for the coming semester, no joy at all.  I dread it.  It is hard to put into words the way I feel.  I don't think that it is depression even though on the surface I know it sounds that way.  I just miss and want my husband back...ok where did THAT come from?  It just came sneaking up on me! But I am sure this too shall pass.  It will.  When summer ends and school begins I will HAVE to get up and get going.  No choice about it.
So now I get to talk about the big October trip that I was so excited about isn't happening now.  Jeff is going to a Commanders Conference during the exact same time.  BUT the cool/lucky thing is that the Conference is at the base here!!! SO... yay.    I was really looking forward to it, but I will try to go in the Spring.  It will be better anyway since Jeff will come home for 3 weeks in December and not home for good until June, so March will be a perfect break in the middle of the last 6 months.
I also just got a surgery date today!!! August 3!  That is in less than 2 weeks!  I have no much to do!  Now I'm very nervous about it but I DO want to do it, I'm just scared.  But the ball is rolling and who knows?  By October when Jeff gets back for a few days I could look different than when he left!