I am a big freakin' baby. I just spent an hour of my morning bawling my eyes out. What good did this do me you ask? Nothing. Not a thing except to make me feel even sadder, and even more tired. Spouses do this every day, and they are fine, they manage everything like super woman. So what is wrong with me??? Why can't I get it together? I feel so unfocused and lonely. I miss him so much it hurts. It has been nearly 3 weeks since he left and you'd think that I could handle thing by now, or have a routine that takes over...but I still feel so adrift and lost.

I am completely sure that everyone is sick of me..I'm sick of myself frankly. This can't go on, it just can't. But when? When will the loneliness go away? When will I be used to sleeping alone? And when will this crushing pain from being separated from my best friend leave?? When?