Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Still not sleeping

Ok this is pretty suckish.. I'm still not sleeping at night. I am a freakin zombie. This has got to stop. I even let my kids stay home today with questionable illnesses. I suspect the real illness was just staying up too late with a bit of not wanting to get up in the morning. But I was so tired that I let myself believe them at the time. I slept in and pretty much wasted my day. I have a MASSIVE amount of school work due this weekend. about 5 chapters to read, 1 test, 1 paper, 2 chapter reviews, and a research paper rough yeah..I need to get my ass in gear. It sucks to be this behind, and at this rate I'm pretty sure that I can pull C's, however it will destroy my GPA. I may have to take the classes again just to fix the grades. But being so damn tired, I just can't read. So now what? Its a mess.

Speaking of messes..I still feel like a mess. Almost like I'm going through the motions here but not I'm not really here. It is messed up for sure. I feel alone, abandoned, lost. Which is silly really. Yet I look around and for all intents and purposes..he has moved out. Like he has left me or something, only the Air Force made him to do it. Now I know he didn't REALLY leave me, but that is what my tired little mind sees.

Lets hope I get some sleep tonight shall we?

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